I fast became a leader in an online community and attended a live training on how to be a powerful speaker. The head of the community turned to me during a break in the action and said, “You need to update your look.”
These are just two statements that continue to haunt my thoughts. In the beginning when those words were first uttered, they were hurtful. Now they spurn me towards gratitude and appreciation.
At a meeting the other day, one of the shoulder pads in the blazer I was wearing became detached, hanging on by a stitch, visible, and pointed out by an associate. “Maybe I should take them out,” I said. “Well, if you do take them out, keep ‘em around for when they come back in style.”
Because of all the growing and learning and inner wisdom gained, I was able to laugh off this latest commentary on my personal looks and style.
It still bugs me to be called “sir,” but I realize those who do are not taking the time to be aware of their surroundings or the people in them; one was a security guard seated at his post, another was a fast-food order-taker; at least the young man at the restaurant apologized when realizing his error.
Have you had people in your life who tried to shape your personality, your looks, or your style?
Of course, there are influencers akin to “you are what you eat.”
Now, before you begin to feel sorry for me, you should know that I am a strong woman. I’ve learned how to work through those internal voices that agree with all of the external ones. I am my own person. I know that I am the only one who can give me the answers I’m looking for. I like who I am, who I’ve become. I love what I do with my writing and coaching. I enjoy helping other women discover who they are and what they are capable of. I love my husband and children and their families, the most important people in my life.
Previously I wrote about the outside influencers in our life; they do shape who we are and how we grow. I thank God for all who’ve entered my life.
To those who ask about my height: thank you for reminding me about my paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather, where my tall sleek body comes from.
To those who say I should wear makeup, make myself presentable: thank you for reminding me that I am just as beautiful on the outside as on the inside; I am loved for who I am, not how I look.
To those who say I should be in style: thank you for reminding me of my uniqueness; for it is my honesty and openness and caring that draws people to me, not what I wear.
How can you turn the negative statements heard in your lifetime around into positive, gratitude declarations?
I’d love to hear them.
Have a great day and Dream On!
“I could announce one morning that the world was going to blow up in three hours and people would be calling in about my hair!” ~Katie Couric
Peggy Lee Hanson, personal transition guide and mentor, is expert at compassionately helping those suffering loss of any proportion, especially through unemployment. Using proven strategies and support, she teaches how to move quickly and easily through current or impending life-changing moments so that you can have the life you are meant -- and deserve -- to live.
PeggyLee is a Speaker, Best-selling author on Amazon.com, Certified Dream Coach® & Group Leader®, Trained True Purpose Coach®, and CEO and Founder of MyDreamArchitect.com, a subsidiary of Personal Transition Guidance, LLC. Also, Peggy Lee has co-facilitated mastermind groups and appeared as a regular columnist for online communities. She is a member of Toastmasters International.
Follow her at PeggyLeeHanson on Twitter and Facebook. You may also subscribe to her blog and newsletter.