As I thought about it, the first time I lost a support system was when I graduated from high school; leaving behind the teachers and friends had meant I was left to a world of unknown.
The next memory of support loss is when my dad died. I was only twenty-five with a one-year-old. He loved me and liked my husband, which was very important to me.
Fast forward a few years when the sudden and unexpected death of my beloved mother-in-law from a brain aneurysm occurred. I stood up at her wake and announced – no wailed! – to the crowd, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without her!”
Oh, I have several people who are there for me, including my husband and my kids. But when a few years ago being “thrown into the transition” after losing my corporate position of twenty-one years, an entire lifetime had passed into the dark.
Which brings me to present day.
One other support system thought to be lifelong has now ended due to the parting of two friends. When the sky cleared, I began to ask a few questions of myself. “Now what do I do? Who can I connect with? Where will my support come from?”
And then I began to look deeper into the loss. Why was this person in my life? How did I “use” this person? What did this person bring to me?
Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
We all seek to be loved, accepted, and supported. But in examining my own wants and needs, I asked three more questions: “When will I give myself the support I need? When will I begin to praise and celebrate my successes? When will I be able to stand alone on my own recognizes?”
The answer to those questions was the same: “Right now and right here.”
Success is an inner game just as much as it is an outer one. Coaches and mentors can help us realize our strengths; they can also help us explore the deep and dark caverns so we can make our way safely to the top to see and feel the warmth of the sunshine on our cheeks.
People come into our lives for a reason. And I believe they go away because we no longer need them. Some leave us and this earth far too earlier than what we’d like; however, the lessons they leave behind are many and immeasurable, and often come from within ourselves.
What lessons have you learned from your support system? Is your system mostly made of internal or external resources? I'd love to hear about them.
p.s. Next Monday April 9, I will be kicking off and talking more about the transition piece during the Coffee with Soul teleseries, Please join me; I'd love it if you would. But if you are unable to listen in, yet want to speak with me directly, schedule a time; I'm here to support you in your dreams and endeavors.
I can be changed by what happens to me. but I refuse to be reduced by it.”
Peggy Lee Hanson, personal transition guide and mentor, is expert at compassionately helping those suffering loss of any proportion, especially through unemployment. Using proven strategies and support, she teaches how to move quickly and easily through current or impending life-changing moments so that you can have the life you are meant -- and deserve -- to live.
PeggyLee is a Speaker, Best-selling author on Amazon.com, Certified Dream Coach® & Group Leader®, Trained True Purpose Coach®, and CEO and Founder of MyDreamArchitect.com, a subsidiary of Personal Transition Guidance, LLC. Also, Peggy Lee is co-facilitator and co-owner of the Coaches Circle Mastermind groups and is a regular columnist for the online community of DreamUniversity.com. She is a member of the International Coach Federation and Toastmasters International.
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